Sugar And Spice
by Rhiannon A. Christy
Summary: There is a troll in Avengers Tower and they are always bothering Steve... or the one where Steve is Baby Spice and Darcy should probably run. !This is absolutely crack!


Sometimes Steve wondered why he stayed in the Tower. Sure, it was convenient when it came to the Avengers. He never had to worry about running out of milk; Jarvis had all that in hand. He was forced to actually be social, which according to Nat was important. The problem was there was a troll in the Tower and this person seemed to always target him.

"Jarvis, is there a reason why all my shirts have been replaced with these?" Steve held up, what to be fair actually was a shirt, only several sizes too small. And obviously meant for a woman… or teenaged girl.

"I see no problem, Captain Rogers, all items located in your drawers are shirts."

"Yes, but not my shirts. Jarvis, where are my shirts?" Steve wasn't sure if Jarvis had been sworn to silence; which would indicate Tony. Or if he was actually playing along; which could also indicate Tony, or possibly Jarvis himself. Or if someone hacked into Jarvis and he truly didn't know something was going on; which indicated most everyone in the Tower.

"Captain, I'm not sure I understand."

Steve sighed, shook his head, and picked a shirt at random. He was hungry and Darcy was making her famous meatballs and he didn't want to be late. He also didn't want to go shirtless. The last time he did that he had to deal with touching. Lots of touching. Darcy had made it house rule that anyone in the common areas going without a shirt were fair game for staring and stroking. A rule which every woman in the tower agreed to after Bucky showed up for dinner wet and in nothing but a pair of sweat pants.

He slipped the shirt over his shoulders, adjusted it the best he could, and headed out for dinner.

He should have expected it, but still the laughing made him stop and glower at everyone.

"I always figured you'd be more of a Ginger Spice." Tony laughed at the image before him. Steve stood in the middle of the common room with the smallest shirt possible stretched over his chest. The thing didn't even cover his stomach and looked more like some weird sparkly sports-bra; one with Baby Spice's face printed on the front.

"I would ask how you know about the Spice Girls, but I'm not sure I want to hear the story." Steve moved further into the room, pulling down the shirt the best he could on the way.

"I would ask you the same thing, but well…" Tony waved his hands at Steve, barely holding onto his giggles.

"Shows how much you know, Tony. Steve is so Baby." Darcy slipped into the room, her face split wide with a smile.

"Fine, then I'm Ginger." Tony nodded his head as though that settled the matter. He really should've known better when it came to Darcy.

"Ha! No, that's Nat. You're Posh, Steve's Baby, Clint is Sporty, and Bucky is Scary." Darcy leaned against the couch directly across from Steve.

"I'm not… alright, yeah, I can deal with that." Tony clawed at the air and made a little 'rawr' sound.

"Does anyone know why all my shirts have been replaced with several versions of this?" Bucky stepped into the common room, his eyes on the sparkly shirt stretched across his muscles, a picture of Scary Spice printed across his chest.

Steve stared at his friend before blinking and switching his gaze to Darcy. He just glared at her while she seemed to shrink in on herself, a small, guilty smile on her face.

"Oh, shit." Darcy took a step back, raised a hand with the peace sign and took off screaming, "Girl Power!"

* * *

Author's Note: I HAVE NO IDEA! Right, so I was supposed to be working on my Agentaser Hat Trick, but then Spice happened. Now I shall go back and work on something a little more serious.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media

franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.


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